“Its hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world.”

The tumble thing for Australian writer Clementine Ford, notorious boner killer, bookworm and bon vivant. From the comfort of her local caff, she brings foppish tales, self deprecating whimsy and withering feminist social analyses.

You can contact Clementine on clementine DOT ford AT gmail DOT com. If you are Ryan Gosling, she is single.

"Hysterical ranting!" - Bo

"If you fixed your teeth and stopped all this feminism nonsense, you might find a man." - Lisa, Sunday Mail reader

"I'm emailing to say I'm turning you off because I can't stand it anymore!" - 5AA listener

"I'm so proud of her. I want to marry her and kiss her on the lips." - Ryan Gosling