I AM NOT PUTTING A CUT ON THIS BECAUSE EVERY WORD OF THIS GLORIOUS ARTICLE DESERVES TO BE READ.
Horse Jerky and Sandcamels: A Primer of Ice and Fire
by Lindy West
MARTIN: Watch out, intestines!
Basically—here is the dark, mewling shame-baby that’s been…
Partially, one of the reasons I want them to legalise gay marriage is so I can move to America, meet Lindy West and make her fall in love with me, and then I will propose to her in a misty wood somewhere but instead of giving her a ring, I’d give her a crown and ask her to be the Queen of my Heart for the rest of eternity, and then we shall be married and I read these columns before anyone else and shuck her head and say, ‘Oh Lindy!’
“When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?”—
1. Zhaghzhagh (Persian) The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage. 2. Yuputka (Ulwa) A word made for walking in the woods at night, it’s the phantom sensation of something crawling on your skin. 3. Slampadato (Italian) Addicted to the infra-red glow of tanning salons? This word describes you. 4. Luftmensch (Yiddish) The Yiddish have scores of words to describe social misfits. This one is for an impractical dreamer with no business sense. Literally, air person. 5. Iktsuarpok (Inuit) You know that feeling of anticipation when you’re waiting for someone to show up at your house and you keep going outside to see if they’re there yet? This is the word for it. 6. Cotisuelto (Caribbean Spanish) A word that would aptly describe the prevailing fashion trend among American men under 40, it means one who wears the shirt tail outside of his trousers. 7. Pana Po’o (Hawaiian) “Hmm, now where did I leave those keys?” he said, pana po’oing. It means to scratch your head in order to help you remember something you’ve forgotten. 8. Gumusservi (Turkish) Meteorologists can be poets in Turkey with words like this at their disposal. It means moonlight shining on water. 9. Vybafnout (Czech) A word tailor-made for annoying older brothers—it means to jump out and say boo. 10. Mencolek (Indonesian) You know that old trick where you tap someone lightly on the opposite shoulder from behind to fool them? The Indonesians have a word for it. 11. Faamiti (Samoan) To make a squeaking sound by sucking air past the lips in order to gain the attention of a dog or child. 12. Glas wen (Welsh) A smile that is insincere or mocking. Literally, a blue smile. 13. Bakku-shan (Japanese) The experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front. 14. Boketto (Japanese) It’s nice to know that the Japanese think enough of the act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking to give it a name. 15. Kummerspeck (German) Excess weight gained from emotional overeating. Literally, grief bacon.
I also like Asatto in Japanese: it means ‘the day after tomorrow’.
And Bildungsroman, in German: coming of age novel or literary exposition.
Don’t you know you’re not allowed to feel sad about celebrities dying from overdoses when they’re notoriously shabby women and besides, you are only allowed to feel sad about things like War and Famine and Steve Irwin?
Just took a look thru your blog, not knowing you personally, and no doubt i never will (or want too), you sound like all you do with your life is think about cock, and watch way to much porn. Infact, i shall predict your future, your going to be a loser who defines her life by the dick she sucks, and that's it, this is all yoru life will be. Your not a feminist, your just a lazy ugly over confident slut.
you're very pretty! from an anonymous secret admirer who has never met you but reads your blog
I feel funny publishing this because it seems hopelessly self indulgent. But on the other hand, I’m a little bit drunk and there’s nothing on TV. And besides, it made me feel good. Thanks anonymous admirer! Do you have a beard? You should probably know that I’m very, very easy.